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Difference between revisions of "Funeral of Mark Van de Weyer"

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We still remember the endless hours of games you had to endure…your patience and playful skill as you mediated our underhand antics. I doubt there has been a Van de Weyer boar game where you weren’t ‘banker’.
 
We still remember the endless hours of games you had to endure…your patience and playful skill as you mediated our underhand antics. I doubt there has been a Van de Weyer boar game where you weren’t ‘banker’.
  
We still remember, with great humour, the day you took Heulwen, Tammy, and I on an impromptu tour of Westminster School. We gleefully skipped past the barrier as you dismissed our intrusion on what looked like a theatrical rehearsal with “I’m an old boy” and we sauntered by… I can only dream of such presence.
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We still remember, with great humour, the day you took [[Heulwen Tudor|Heulwen]], [[Tamsin Van de Weyer|Tammy]], and I on an impromptu tour of [[Westminster School]]. We gleefully skipped past the barrier as you dismissed our intrusion on what looked like a theatrical rehearsal with “I’m an old boy” and we sauntered by… I can only dream of such presence.
  
 
We still remember the village shop in Little Mill that you raised as part of Heulwen’s business studies project, and when you confessed to me your poetry shortcomings when trying to support my English homework. I’ll never forget the trials of the Eeper Weeper, Chimney Sweeper.
 
We still remember the village shop in Little Mill that you raised as part of Heulwen’s business studies project, and when you confessed to me your poetry shortcomings when trying to support my English homework. I’ll never forget the trials of the Eeper Weeper, Chimney Sweeper.
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We still remember all the times you were there…for every adventure, whim, or just helping to guide us. You never refrained, enthusiastically dedicating hours to us and those around you. You were there to send Heulwen off to France, you hosted Tammy and Jess in Dorset before they departed for Australia, and you took me to the Lots Road diner for my 21st birthday.
 
We still remember all the times you were there…for every adventure, whim, or just helping to guide us. You never refrained, enthusiastically dedicating hours to us and those around you. You were there to send Heulwen off to France, you hosted Tammy and Jess in Dorset before they departed for Australia, and you took me to the Lots Road diner for my 21st birthday.
  
We still remember that at one time or another you welcomed us to live in Chelsea Harbour. We’ve all benefited from your energy and generosity, whether it be Barnes Cricket Club, Chelsea Harbour Residents Association, or helping Ross balance the books of an NHS Trust.
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We still remember that at one time or another you welcomed us to live in [[Chelsea Harbour]]. We’ve all benefited from your energy and generosity, whether it be [[Barnes Cricket Club]], Chelsea Harbour Residents Association, or helping [[Ross Tudor|Ross]] balance the books of an NHS Trust.
  
 
Many will realise how much they depended on your sage advice. You played the perfect role. We were truly blessed by a loving, affectionate, and supportive uncle to our upbringing.  
 
Many will realise how much they depended on your sage advice. You played the perfect role. We were truly blessed by a loving, affectionate, and supportive uncle to our upbringing.  

Revision as of 12:14, 14 May 2020

Mark Van de Weyer was interred at St. Mary's Church in Marshwood, Dorset very close to his home with Caroline Dilke. He died on 3rd May 2020 and the service was conducted on 13th May 2020 at 12 noon.

Procession

Due to the ongoing Covid-19 Crisis attendance of the funeral was limited. However, local mourners lined the road to pay their respects. The procession started at Long Acre and travelled the short distance from the house to St. Mary's Church.

Introduction

To be added.

Tributes

Text provided below is that prepared by speakers and may have differed slightly in aural delivery.

Caroline

To be transcribed.

Andrew

To be transcribed.

Nick

Mark married Catherine Candler when he was was 21 and she was 20. My brother Alex was born shortly after in 1973.

Mark met his great friend David Candler at the Luton News and a few years ago at David's funeral he credited his colleague (who served as press secretary at number 10) with instilling the passion for grassroots political action and involvement in local government that he carried through his life. Mark shared a memory at Catherine’s impassioned holding to account of future Home Secretary Jack Straw at their home in Islington. I’m glad Mark was able to bring the same passion here to Dorset and that we are joined by his family here including his grandchildren Evelyn and Jezebel.

Mark is mourned greatly by the Candlers, as indeed by all his extended family. Even after mum’s death he kept in touch with them and had a significant impact on all. This will hardly come as a surprise to anyone who knew him. We will remember Mark for his genuine interest in others and generous spirit.

This past week, many have shared with me stories of his generosity and conviviality. My aunt Carol recalled being a guest for Christmas at Frognal and the warm welcome and support they received moving to London as newlyweds. Cousins have shared childhood memories of family events. Recollections of Mark’s 50th at the V&A, various weddings and other events have featured.

After hearing Mark speak so well at these events I know he would have had the perfect anecdote to share today. The right words to put us at ease and properly honour him.

It’s painfully ironic to consider how ill suited to the man this limited gathering is today. But I know we will gather together again soon so that all the lives he touched can come together. All family, friends and colleagues. We all feel his loss despite being unable to express it how we would choose to at this time.

I used to think Mark had a very strong sense of duty. That this meant he never missed an event and had to keep in touch will so many. I think now perhaps he just cared so very much about people.

I’ll never forget his kind words and embrace as we sang “I’m forever blowing bubbles”. I am lucky and privileged to have had him in my life. As are we all. Thank you.

Josse

Dear Mark

We still remember the Easter egg hunts, the birthday parties, the trips to the beach, the sporting events, and the Christmas board games. I remember my excitement and eagerness to don the West Ham kit you gave me each Christmas, and the year you yielded to my request for a Spurs kit.

We still remember the endless hours of games you had to endure…your patience and playful skill as you mediated our underhand antics. I doubt there has been a Van de Weyer boar game where you weren’t ‘banker’.

We still remember, with great humour, the day you took Heulwen, Tammy, and I on an impromptu tour of Westminster School. We gleefully skipped past the barrier as you dismissed our intrusion on what looked like a theatrical rehearsal with “I’m an old boy” and we sauntered by… I can only dream of such presence.

We still remember the village shop in Little Mill that you raised as part of Heulwen’s business studies project, and when you confessed to me your poetry shortcomings when trying to support my English homework. I’ll never forget the trials of the Eeper Weeper, Chimney Sweeper.

We still remember all the times you were there…for every adventure, whim, or just helping to guide us. You never refrained, enthusiastically dedicating hours to us and those around you. You were there to send Heulwen off to France, you hosted Tammy and Jess in Dorset before they departed for Australia, and you took me to the Lots Road diner for my 21st birthday.

We still remember that at one time or another you welcomed us to live in Chelsea Harbour. We’ve all benefited from your energy and generosity, whether it be Barnes Cricket Club, Chelsea Harbour Residents Association, or helping Ross balance the books of an NHS Trust.

Many will realise how much they depended on your sage advice. You played the perfect role. We were truly blessed by a loving, affectionate, and supportive uncle to our upbringing.

We will always remember.

Robert

To know someone for as long as Andrew and I have known Mark, which is seven decades, is to witness both consistency and change – not only in physical appearance, but also in character.

For as long as I can remember Mark had an intense sense of fairness, of right and wrong – or, as he often put it to me, what is ‘done’ and ‘not done’. He found my waywardness especially galling. My son Sylvain Van de Weyer saw this quality in action when he did work experience with the Investors Chronicle, with Mark as manager. He was impressed with the high regard in which people held Mark: they would say that your uncle is often firm, and always fair.’

Also from childhood Mark was generous.

But there was another quality that he did not always possess, but which over the past two decades he acquired in large measure. Some have described this quality as gentleness, but I don’t think that quite captures it. Perhaps the best word is ‘benign’: he became an exceptionally benign person. He exuded good will, towards his family, and also to anyone he met. His presence at any gathering was a benign presence. That is the quality for which he will be especially remembered

One consequence is that he became an active member of the Church of England – which, for all its faults, is an institution fuelled by good will. And he and I exchanged long and frequent emails on church matters. Indeed, the most recent was on 11 April, when he sent me the link to the vicar’s excellent streamed Easter service.

How did this exceptional quality arise in Mark? I could enumerate several factors. One was the delayed influence of our father, who was also exceptionally benign. But one factor stands out: Caroline. Caroline brought out the very best in Mark, and as a consequence she gave him the best years of his life.

Since Mark had become a signed-up Anglican, I can say quite appropriately: ‘Thank God for Mark’.